Avoiding Divorce Is Possible
By Erina Array
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Remember when you got married? Everything was amazing because you were in love and were loved. Life was perfect as you expected a lifetime of wedded bliss and a future filled with love and happiness. Your marriage promises were so important as you gazed into each others eyes understanding you would be together as long as you both shall live. You did not expect to be considering how to avoid divorce.
What happened? Now one or both of you is contemplating or threatening divorce. Marriage is not what you anticipated and your boyfriend/girlfriend turned into a husband/wife. The love you once shared is never talked about and certainly never felt as you drift farther and farther apart. You did not comprehend that being together for a lifetime could seem so long.
Sorrowful marriages are not uncommon. Sadness at times starts on the honeymoon and sometimes years later. It could come suddenly or creep up on you like old age. Most of us have stared in the mirror and wondered who that old person is. It's like that in marriage when you look at your partner and wonder who that stranger is. Certainly, that's not the person you married....
But it is and you could be in love and happily married all over again with a little combined effort. Avoiding divorce is possible. Do not even talk about the D word until you have given it a sincere try to rekindle the flame which was once there. Gaze closely and I am sure you can see a little spark now.
You have probably been told that to have a happy marriage you must converse. So, begin with talking. Whatever has been the cause of your problems talk about them frankly and honestly. What have you got to lose? Converse and negotiate. A good life is understanding to compromise because it will not always go your way. Do not allow the wind blow you away but bend a little.
Both of you bring to the talk table all the things you want to see the other do to save the marriage. Do not just be negative. Note down things that annoy you but even list things that give you pleasure and make you happy. Take the list seriously and realize it now.
Do not let the list limit your actions. Make ways to make your partner feel special and loved again. Tell them in a short note that you love and be glad about them via email or a phone call. They may be busy so do not hang back. Say sweet nothings and leave them wanting more. Marriage should be pleasurable and filled with humor. You are more likely to stay together if you laugh together.
Get closer. Touch each other. When you pass, kiss their neck or ear or clutch their hand. Do things together instead of watching TV. Special interests together offer a chance to do more talking, bonding and remembering why you loved them in the first place. The bottom line here is to be friends as well as lovers. When esteem returns so does love and when you love somebody you could avoid divorce.
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